Colombians are the friendliest people in the world - Or are they?

Ok, so I want to make it clear first of all that I love Colombia. I really do. However, like with any foreign country, it has its fair share of annoyances. Whilst I guess it’s perfectly natural to struggle with certain aspects of living in an alien culture, there are a few things in Colombia that I doubt I will ever learn to accept or embrace for that matter.

Since arriving in Colombia, Colombians have not ceased to inform me that they are ‘the friendliest people in the world.’ Nonetheless, there have been times this year when I have quite frankly just wanted to laugh at this statement, or scream in frustration (most like the latter!)

I can’t help but wonder why Colombians are so quick to pat themselves on the back, before questioning their own faults and flaws. Again, let me reiterate (before I fear I start losing friends) that Colombia is a wonderful country and that yes, Colombians are friendly…the majority of them. Nonetheless, I can’t help but question the validity of this statement. 

Being from Northern Ireland I will be the first to tell you that the Irish are extremely friendly, though trust me, some of us are just complete idiots, just like the people in any country you might chose to visit. What makes Colombia any different?

Firstly, I guess it has something to do with the sheer size of Colombia. Colombia is a huge country, with huge contrasts, culturally, linguistically, socially, politically and ethnically. Those from the Pacific coast act very differently to those from the big city and vice versa. A paisa will naturally be different someone from Pasto. 

Bearing in mind the extreme sense of National pride in Colombia, it shouldn’t come as a shock that the locals are determined to give themselves a good image, one which is not to do with guerrilla warfare or drug violence. 

Given the history of Colombia, I imagine Colombians take pride in showing off their country and culture, especially to foreigners who unfortunately too often think that a holiday in Colombia can only mean one thing, sun, sea, sand and cocaine. 

If you are reading this and have spent any time in Colombia you will know that this is simply not true. There are a few things that I have struggled with during my daily life in Bogotá.

Racism
This is something which I have had to really struggle with during my time here in Bogotá. I have had experiences in which friends have talked derogatorily about, or simply just made fun of someone simply because of the colour of their skin. The scary thing is that often the racist comments come from those are highly educated and ‘should know better’. I understand that in the UK, we are often labelled as being too PC or ‘Politically Correct’ though I can’t seem to think that this has anything to do with being right or wrong, that is politically speaking. Surely it’s a matter of humanity and respect. In my opinion, there is simply no excuse!

National Pride
Colombians are some of the proudest people I have ever met. And ok, why shouldn’t they be proud? They have a wonderful country and wonderful culture. However, this year I have had to lie on various occasions to appease Colombian friends. If you engage with a Colombian taxi driver about your new life in Bogotá, one of the first things they will most likely want to talk to you about is food! It happens on a weekly basis that a taxi driver will inform me that surely I must love Colombia, even more than my own country since it has the best women, best food and best nightlife in all of Latin America if not the world. 

I personally think Colombian food is a bit boring and tasteless, the nightlife is ok (give or take) and as for the women, well I couldn’t possibly make comment on that!

They are very quick to defend their own food but annoyingly very wary about trying food which is not from Colombia and has not been prepared by a Colombian. Being the little whiz in the kitchen that I think I am, I have tried to encourage Colombian friends to try new things: Thai, Cambodian, Italian, Japanese etc and it’s humorous to the point of frustrating to watch them stare in confusion as you prepare the food. I have quite strong will-power, but after having watched Colombian friends turn up their noses at a block of Brie and Camembert, my heart could possibly not sink any lower.

Regionalism
Colombia is a country which is completely divided not only geographically but by the Colombians themselves. Not only do they make fun of non-Colombians but those from different regions of the country itself. Whilst regional pride is a good thing, I have become tired of hearing the same comments made about Paisas, or jokes about the Pastuso accent and derogatory comments made about those from the Caribbean Coast. Ironically, many of these Colombians which will indulge in such conversations have never actually left their region, or traveled extensively around the country, before making such comments.

Gringo Culture
Let me first of all get this right. I am not a gringo. I am from a small town on the coast of Northern Ireland. Therefore even if I correct you kindly saying that I am not a gringo, please do not try and tell me reasons why I am wrong and that you know more about my own Nationality than I do. 

Mamar Gallo
or – ‘to take the piss’ – Something that Colombians like to do to anyone who isn’t a Colombian. There have been many occasions in which I have nearly gone mental at being mistreated at the hands of Colombians simply because I am foreign. I remember being made to sit at the back of the boat with my other English friend whilst sailing back to Cartagena from Playa Blanca, a journey which left us soaked through to our skin, and all of our belongings ruined.

Naturally the worst part of the journey was watching the Colombians that had been previously asked to move, sit as happy as pie as the ‘gringo’ gets soaked through. I’m not just talking about being charged a little more at a street market for an overpriced bracelet, I’m referring to when Colombians who refuse to let you and your friend get on the last bus out of the town because there is ‘no room’ but then proceed in letting about 4 Colombians on instead. Quite frankly, this is not how to make foreigners feel welcome in your country – take note.

Colombians are ‘players’
Colombian men are complete players. I know that there is a game to play, however I won’t be participating in it. I am sick of the chase and have come to the conclusion that if someone wants to be with me for who I am then, they can make the effort to get to know me. I’m not some kind of foreign trophy to be won and I refuse to fall for all the usual Latino chat-up lines which have started to go stale after only a few months of being exposed to them.

Machismo
Machismo is pretty impossible to avoid in most Latin American (and Western) countries. I can’t help but feel that machismo, being not only a word but a concept that we have allowed ourselves to become accustomed to, is accepted within Latino culture, despite the social problems it creates, especially for women and anyone who is a minority. (or not a man)

Colombians take forever at bank machines
They put their card in, the punch in some digits, they take it out again, they read their receipt, they insert their card again, they do the same monotonous procedure, they think, they decide to take money out, they take it out, they do the same with another card – The process of getting money out isn’t difficult, people just make it difficult.As a result, please be prepared to spend hours queuing at bank machines.

Lying
OK, let me say from the onset that I am not implying that all Colombians lie. What I will say however is that there have been many times where I have asked for directions and instead of the person simply saying that they do not know the answer they will continue to give you the wrong directions or relevant information.This does not help you in the slightest!

Lack of trust
It is understandable yet slightly irritating the lack of trust in Bogota from strangers. At times, I have needed to ask people information, usually directions on the street and when approaching Colombians it is often that they will not stop to help you. They usually keep walking, looking at you like some sort of criminal. However if they do stop to help, they will always talk to you with an air of caution. I suppose this is understandable given that Bogota is perhaps not the safest of places to talk to strangers in the street. Nonetheless, it still grates a little when you’re trying to find somewhere and get looked up and down like you've just murdered some kittens. 

Colombian landlords are idiots
Say no more. It’s extremely difficult to find a trusting Colombian landlord who will not try to rinse you for everything you have got, at least not in Bogota. They see you as a fountain of cash, and will try and get all they can out of you. Watch out for flaws in contracts, strange rules and anything else dodgy which could make your living situation a living nightmare. No parties, charging for friends coming over, paying to use the bathroom…you name that obscene rule, I have most likely heard it and I am sure that it has been enforced by a Colombian landlord somewhere.

Colombians love to make fun of your Spanish
Colombians claim to be the friendliest people in the world, however this does not apply when you are speaking Spanish. Even if their level of English is practically non-existent, Colombians will not hesitate to laugh at your Spanish, your choice of vocabulary (or in my case) your ‘horrible accent’.(Thanks Spain!)

Going to the Cinema
There is nothing more annoying than sitting at the cinema watching a serious film and being surrounded by people who sill simply not keep quiet. Even more amusing than this is the fact that Colombians love to make the fastest exit from the cinema ever after the movie is over. No one likes to sit around, and no one gives a damn about the credits. Grab your belongings and get out of there!

Colombians hate to queue
In true Hispanic style, Colombians struggle with the concept of queuing. Being British there is nothing we love more than a good queue. Whether it be at the cinema or getting on a bus, people will happily push in front of you.Just get used to it.

Email
Colombians take for ages to respond to emails. Whether it is work related or personal, people here much prefer to phone instead. Therefore, it’s important to feel comfortable with telephone Spanish, something which I was not when I first arrived in Colombia.

Being late!
We all tend to be late the odd time, and even turn up ‘fashionably late’ to parties since you never want to be the first person there but Colombians really struggle to turn up to things on time, even classes at University. My students were shocked to hear that in England, you may not be admitted into a class if you arrive late or even worse, you may be asked to leave. I understand that Bogota is a big city, and there are often difficulties with transport but instead of using that as an excuse for lateness, why not just leave a little earlier?

Strike!
The Colombians love to strike just as much as the French do. Despite this being extremely annoying when you work in a state university, much of the time striking is a means of demonstration, against a highly corrupt government and an unequal society. Strikes can cause all sorts of problems, from roads being closed, to staff not getting paid on time, or even at all!

Spanish set phrases
If you have ever walked down a street in any Colombian town or city during lunch hour your ears will be ‘graced’ with the sounds of Colombians screaming ‘siga, siga, siga, a la orden…bienvenidos.’ Or words to that effect! Colombians love their set phrases. When you say 'thank you' when purchasing something you will without a doubt be greeted with ‘a la orden’ – or ‘at your service’ If a Colombians wishes to apologise, they will say ‘Que pena’ or ‘Que pena con usted’. After a while, the language starts to feel a bit impersonal. Instead of ‘at your service’ a ‘no worries, have a nice day’ wouldn’t go a miss!

Personal space
Colombians don’t mind getting up close and personal on public transport and they will happily dance right beside you on the dance floor even if there happens to be more space a few feet away. After a few cocktails or shots of ‘aguardiente’ or ‘burning water’  this can be extremely irritating and results in lots of elbowing and nudging with certain varying degrees of force!

Colombian inequality
More of a serious complaint... Whilst I can live happily in a country which struggles with personal space, queuing and sending emails, I can’t help but be angry and upset at the extreme levels of inequality that exist in Colombia, especially regarding education. Unlike in the UK, not everyone in Colombia is treated the same by the state and not everyone has the same opportunities in life to make something of themselves. Unfortunately this is one of the biggest social problems to date in Colombia.

So … now that I’m feeling pretty angry about everything it’s probably time to calm myself down, make a fruit smoothie and revel in some of the amazing things that Colombia has which the UK has not in an attempt to chill out and win back some friends that I have probably lost through reading this blog! In conclusion, I believe Colombia to be a marvellous country, with defects just like any other. People in Colombia are no more different to that of those back home who too often have not the opportunity to travel, experience other cultures and everything else that comes from stepping further outside of your own comfort zones.

Obviously, much of the time, this is of no fault of their own. Nonetheless, regionalism mixed with extreme National Pride often equates to for many Colombians an inability to see past the borders of one’s own country. I am not asking Colombia to change. I am asking none of the sort. As for any foreigners personal struggle living in a country like Colombia, it is only to be expected. Furthermore, that’s what makes it so challenging and rewarding living abroad. 

Whilst there are a list of more serious things I wish I could change in Colombia, alongside the locals, there are many which are part of the cultural and come along with the acceptance of a job in Bogotá. As for these things, there is no sense in getting angry or annoyed. You simply have a count to ten, relax and remember you are the weird one - not them!