So, I was sitting the other night with some friends
discussing what we all found strange about living as an expat in Colombia…all those bizarre
things which to a Colombian seem perfectly normal, yet to a non-Colombian seem
quite frankly…odd! The following is a short list of ten things that I find
strange about life in the big, bad city of Bogotá, Colombia!
1. Strange
voices
There is nothing stranger… or for that matter more
frustrating than waking up on a Saturday morning to the sound of some of the
strangest, most confusing and inaudible voices you have ever come across in
your life! Whilst on one hand you desire to know exactly what these strange ‘chants’
are, on the other hand, the last thing you want to do is get out of your bed on a
cold, rainy Bogota morning to try and get a sneaky-peak of what animal or creature is making those noises!
Therefore, you lie still, close your eyes, and listen…straining
your ears to try and understand what is being shouted through your barrio. In my barrio it's usually who I have come to nick-name 'avocado man' or 'flores man' who stroll the streets of the neighborhood hoping to sell their avocados and flowers, obviously things you need to buy first thing in the morning...right? Proudly, they stroll through the barrio chanting their little chants, making sure everyone is awake and given the chance to buy avocados and flowers - that is if you can understand them first!
If it's not avocado man or flower man making some of the strangest 'sounds' you have ever heard it might be the gypsies, going round the neighborhood on their horses and carts, looking for scrap! Either way, a day doesn't go by in this city in which you question your own sanity at some of the sounds you are hearing!
2. Chocolate
and cheese
Only the Colombians would think it would be a good idea to
put cheese in hot chocolate. Don’t get me wrong…I love cheese, and I love
chocolate…though they aren’t two things I might necessarily eat together. Nonetheless,
this typical Breakfast dish is slowly growing on me though I’m not sure it’s
something that I’ll take back to Northern Ireland!
3. Fruit
salad and cheese
Another one of Colombia’s genius dishes! Colombia has some
of the most exotic, fascinating and delicious fruits in the world I have ever
tried. Therefore there should be nothing more pleasurable than the process of
ordering a fruit salad. Mango, pineapple, apple, banana, passion fruit, papaya,
pitahaya, carambolo, guanabana … and so the list continues. You watch in awe and
excitement for what you are about to tuck into until the lady stops…and starts
to smother your ‘healthy option lunch’ with not only condensed milk (dulce de
leche) but cheese…yes, cheese. Now, stop and try take that in.
4. Liquids
sold in plastic bags – drinks from the streets
Quite frankly, I used to find it hilarious that all things
liquid are sold in bags in supermarkets…water, yoghurt, milk … you name it, it
comes in a bag, not a bottle or a carton. Not only is this genius idea better
for the environment, but much more economical. Just make sure you have a range
of plastic jugs in the house for your return from the weekly shop!
5. Minutos
and being called from unknown numbers
For a good few weeks, I was convinced that I had a stalker
in Colombia. Every day, my phone would vibrate, I would look down and there
would be another unknown number. I mean, what was happening to me? I know that
too often in my drunken state on a Saturday night in Theatron I was sometimes a
little too easily persuaded to give my number to a semi-looking hot Latino guy,
but this was too common to be true. Instead, I soon realised that given the
expensive nature of calling mobiles, especially other networks and the culture
of Colombians in that they seem to hate texting (possibly due to the high price
and the fact that they can be easily ignored or forgotten) phoning from a random vendors
phone on the street who usually has a range of, if not all the networks works
out much cheaper and more efficient. So, lesson learnt…pick up that phone call!
6. A mild
obsession with carbohydrates
Being born and raised in Northern Ireland I love my carbs! I
love food in general, and I never quite understood when you went to restaurants
outside of Northern Ireland why you were asked if you wanted vegetables or
potatoes with your main dish. Obviously you want both! Nonetheless, despite
being accustomed to eating quite a lot of food (and perhaps blaming quite a lot
of that on my culture) I just can’t get over the amount of Carbohydrates that
the Colombians can consume on one plate. It is not unusual at lunch to have a
huge meal including meat accompanied with rice, potatoes, pasta, yucca (a type
of root vegetable) and beans.
7. Horn
honking even when there isn’t oncoming traffic
Colombian taxi drivers just love a good honk as they come up
to any junction. It is impossible to walk more than half a block without
hearing someone beep the horn! It’s ridiculous…though probably for the best,
given some of the driving I have seen in Colombia.
8. Guards
with guns and street police who look about 14 years old
I don’t know which one is actually worse…the fact that
guards protecting banks and shopping centres carry loaded guns or the fact that
the police ‘men’ on duty on the transmilenio (Bogotá’s equivalent of the tube)
look about 14 years old and can usually be seen play fighting with their batons
or standing around aimlessly texting. Either way, I’m never quite sure whether
to feel safe or threatened.
9. Tying
knots on all your plastic bags
Simples. Colombians love to tie knots…on everything you buy!
Even if you buy an apple from Carulla (a bit like our version of Marks and
Spencers – to which nothing is comparable if you ask me) the shop assistant
will most likely put it in a plastic bag and tie what usually is a ridiculously
tight army knot in it. Also remember to show your receipt on the way out to
that 14 year old – you don’t want him beating you with his toy baton!
10. Forget
‘fairy liquid’ – Hola Axion!
Washing dishes is a nightmare in Bogotá…no hot water, no
fairy liquid. That washing up ‘liquid’ isn’t actually liquid but a solid-type
soap which you battle with to try and wash all your dishes.
Anyway, these are only about ten of some of the strangest
things that I have found about living in Colombia. There are many more, and I
am sure that I will continue to be equally as amazed/dumbfounded as time goes
on!
Nonetheless, it is these things that
make Colombia the fascinating country that it really is. Despite being
completely confused most of my time here, I can’t help but feel slightly at
home here in this crazy country and in love with its people and its culture!
Viva Colombia!
No comments:
Post a Comment