A guide to dating in Colombia

Enrique Iglesias, Javier Bardem, Rafa Nadal, Gerard Pique, Gael García Bernal…

 

I’ll stop here on my list of favourite Latino men before I get carried away…

I’ve always had a thing for Latino men and pretty much always wanted a fall in love with Enrique Iglesias and failing that his look-a-like. 

I’ve never been able to put my finger exactly on what it is about Latin that make me just go weak at the knees. 

Is it their tanned olive skin, their jet black hair, their dark smouldering eyes or the simple fact that they speak Spanish, arguably the sexiest language in the world? 

Who knows! Nonetheless, on coming to Colombia to work, I began to wonder what it would be actually like to properly date a Latino. I’d never even dated a Spaniard, but I figured Colombian men would beat British and Irish boys hands down.

When we think about what it’s like to date a Latino, we all probably think of the same stereotype. They are all macho, possessive, well groomed, gentlemanly and let us not forget… passionate. 

Now, after having dipped my toe in the Colombian, gay dating pond…I can definitely say that not all of the above are true. Ah, stereotyping, when will we ever learn?

There really is an art to dating in Colombia, and if there is, I don’t think I’ve quite mastered it yet. In fact, I’d definitely say I was a bit of a novice. 

There have been a few bumps in the road along the way but I’ve learnt a lot from my ‘experience’ of dating in Colombia. Nonetheless there are a few things I wish I had known before I threw myself heart first (head to follow) into the gay dating scene in Bogotá. 

1.       Colombian boys will tell you they love you … a lot. In my situation, this might even happen during the first date! Don’t be alarmed. It’s not like in the UK where you say those three words and your partner runs a mile and instantly erases your number, Facebook and any other points of contact. I’ve began to interpret ‘Te quiero ’more as ‘I want you’ as opposed to ‘I love you’ which slightly softens the blow.  

2.       They’re rarely on time … for anything! You’re thinking, he told me ‘he loved me last night…but now he’s over an hour late for our date. What the…?’ Again, just like in general Colombian life where time is never really of the essence, it doesn’t apply to dating either. Just accept it; he’s probably going to be late for the wedding, if it ever happens.

3.       Family means a lot to them, especially their mums.
Family is very important to Colombians. And why shouldn’t it be!? Nonetheless, keep an eye out for the future mother-in-law…they love their boys and like the Italians, Colombian boys and their mums are not to be messed with. On the same topic, don’t be alarmed if you are invited over to ‘meet the parents’ after a few month, weeks or even days! It’s perfectly normal!

4.       ‘You’re so handsome. You have beautiful eyes.’ The list goes on…and on…and on… Learn to accept complements (‘piropos’), and a lot of them. If anything (even though if you couldn’t disagree more as you try to suck in and cover up that blemish) lap it all up. It can only be good for your levels of confidence!

5.       Try not to take the complements to seriously, you will find yourself falling in love a lot quicker in Colombia than in the UK. Colombia is one of the most image-conscious places I have ever been in my life. And whilst yes, this means ridiculously cheap manicures, pedicures, trips to the salon and gym membership it also has the potential to make you feel overly conscious with regards to your appearance. I was told once that Colombians like the think in the moment and if in that moment they love you…they won’t hesitate to tell you how much they are in love with you. Accept it, but don’t let it go to your head…OR you heart.

6.       Be prepared to phone a lot more than you will text! I’m a fan of texting, at least when it comes to arranging dates. In Colombia – you phone. Don’t be embarrassed to answer that unknown number the morning after the night before…you never know, he might be the one.

7.       Don’t be offended if they correct your Spanish even if they speak no English. They will happily correct your Spanish, laugh at your ‘horrible European accent’ and point out all your mistakes. Try not to take it personally and see it as free Spanish tutoring.

8.       Get used to the culture of ‘inviting’ each other. ‘Te invito a tomar un café’, ‘Te invito a almorzar’, ‘Te invito a tomar una cerveza’… The list continues. In Colombia there is a Culture of inviting one another. In heterosexual relationships, I imagine it’s still very common for the man to pay for the date…if you happen to be homosexual or somewhere in between and find yourself on a date with someone of the same sex…my advice, pretend to fumble around for your wallet and hopefully he will get his out faster than you and offer to pay. It’s worked for me…or has it?

9.       Always have a pretty flexible timetable and always have a back-up plan for your Saturday night! It’s been known for Colombian boyfriends to simply disappear off the face of the planet for hours at a time, without an excuse or even a notice to make you aware in the change in plans!

10.   Finally, be patient, be confident and most importantly make sure your best friends are around you, you have a box set of your favourite series on standby and the cupboards are fully stocked with imported chocolate and bottles of wine for when it goes tits up and you wonder where it all went wrong. After all, he told you he loved you yesterday didn’t he!? 

Now that I have learnt a little more about what it’s like to date the Colombians, I guess it’s just a matter of sitting around waiting for Enrique Iglesias to find me and realise I’m the one he’s been looking for…fat chance